I have had several things on the burner, and not much on the back burner, so it has been a juggling process since the beginning of September and it will continue this month, but November looks free-er and I will have time for new clients and different projects.
First, there was theEASCannual general meeting and then the online congressshortly afterwards. I, of course, participated in both as a board member and I alsogave a workshopon resilience, burnout and sustainable work
Read MoreA friend asked me for recommendations on Mentoring books las Saturday. I went to my library and pulled out two books I have read… but now I want to focus on recent books I have read for recommendations.
Reading books brings me joy, especially during holidays where I sit and read and read and...
I have read or finished quite a few books this past holiday time in Tenerife and Minnesota(and I am still reading, but at a slower pace), and I want to share some highlights in case you need or wish for something new to read.
Read MoreDo what you can, and then turn your focus away from what you can’t. It helps with worry, which is not at all helpful.
This works for most instances, especially for work. You can also think about how to work when things seem stuck…
Read MoreReturning to work from a longer break can be emotionally and even physically difficult, especially if you have really had a mental “break” from your every-day schedule for longer than two weeks.
Returning to work after a longer break can also be something work related, but not every-day such as being on a work training or retreat besides holidays, family time or just R&R in the garden.
Returning to the regular pace of work can feel like you are a deep-sea diver coming to the surface again, facing a foreign world from where you have recently been.
Read MoreLast night I heard a great sermon on “creators, choosers and consumers” and how at any given time of our life we can be one of these types of people. It was thought provoking!
This sermon led me to think about Covey’s “Circle of Control Model” and perfectionism.
Covey says we should focus on what we can do and what we can influence. That concept really helps with perfectionism. Read on for more thoughts on how to stop perfectionism:
I once went to a meeting where some local women professionals discussed perfectionism and how it affects our lives at work and at home.
Some of us were affected at work, others at home, some both. Some of us also had perfectionist partners and we talked about how that hurt our relationships and our family life. It was a great evening of sharing, mostly because we didn’t stop at the negative, but looked for solutions.
Here were some of the solutions we came up with:
Read MoreGot time for holidays? Or has work got all your time? Take a break off from work before work breaks you!
Skipping your 2023 vacation because you have too much to do?
I once read an article about how someone was guilted by her boss into not taking her vacation time. In the end the stress from work took its toll and, no, people didn’t get burned-out. The company went under. No joke.
Read MoreReflection Check-up for midsummer, including decision-making.
It is after midsummer and perhaps you and I should take some time for a reflective check-up. It is important to regularly reflect upon our goals and check our progress to make changes and keep on your chosen course.
First you must ask yourself questions.
Ask yourself
Read MoreI recently read The Ethical Coaches’ Handbook and it has given me some thoughts and some activities to do, such as organizing a “will” for my practice. It is full of ideas and helpful hints for me as a coach and supervisor.
I highly recommend this book for coaches and supervisors - as not only something to borrow and read quickly, but to have on one’s office bookshelf, not to gather dust, but to use and return to and to help us “helpers” ponder what is ethical, what is in the gray zone, and what is a no-go for coaches.
This makes me think about some of my own no-go’s as a certified coach and supervisor.
One big one is “taking advantage” of a client. This has a few aspects to it.
Read MoreHow can I do what I teach and “preach”? As a coach and supervisor and as an educator with a Master’s in teaching, I “know” a lot. But do I practice what I know and how do I do it? What about you? Is there a disconnect between what you do and what you know (you should do)?
Last week at my Inter-Vision group discussed this topic, and we reminded ourselves that maturity is a life-long process. Hopefully, we are all better than yesterday and tomorrow we will be better still. We know a lot but practicing it is not always easy.
Let’s start with emotional regulation and integrity.
Read MoreHow can I manage my emotions?
Do my emotions have to do with resilience?
The short answer is yes. For better resilience, we need to manage our emotions better.
First we have to notice and name our emotions. With that awareness you are already half way there to better resilience.
KEEP AN EMOTION “Log Book”
Read MoreA while ago I got together with coaching and supervision colleagues and I was reminded of one of my favorite (negotiation and decision) interventions: The H.I.T. list, where you have three questions:
· What is your Have-to-have?
· What do your Intend (or would like) to have? And
· What can (or must) you Trade ( or give up) to get your Have-to-have (for sure) and possibly your Intend to have?
When you think about this, then you can decide what is not on these lists, and discard - or delegate.
Read MoreFor a better mindset – shift your focus and shift the viewpoint. This will cause you to be more resilient.
Shift: what I see and how I see it.
Doing the hard thingis
Read MoreAttitude is (almost) everything. And, of course our thoughts and attitude are quite intertwined.
Are you a quitter? I bet you aren’t! But negative assumptions and attitudes can creep into your working life quite easily because negativity is catchy!
So, have you been thinking any of the following lately:
· I’m too stressed. Stress is getting me down.
· There is no way to move forward.
· I can’t get any new clients, let alone keep the old ones.
· My products are so-so…
Read MoreYou can’t slow down, maybe.
You are always working.
When are you moving towards burnout and how can you get help?
Set work boundaries but try to find (more) meaning at work, especially the hours and days. Take days off. Take holidays.
Meet with friends and family (that give you energy).
Read MoreThere is a lot that can be done for stress and burnout.
One thing stands ahead of many others, though.
When you feel stressed or are heading for burnout fast, go find a friend or two and talk about it.
What does this do? It created oxytocin.
Read MoreOne of the big parts of stress is something that you can control: how resilient are you?
Start with your relationships, for one!
Research has shown that mutually supportive relationships are key to stress reduction and resilience.
What does a good relationship look like? How do I develop and grow in my relationships?
Read Morehow do I know what I can change in a stressful situation - what I have to deal with - and live through?
Let’s begin with some things you can do, even when the stress is not ongoing.
First, when you see that the programme is too full or is getting too full for your liking, try to, if you possibly can, put in time buffers. Do it ahead of time. Say you see that the next few weeks are full of ”heavy duty” activity, then do not plan something in the evenings, if possible – even if it is a fun activity and plan only fun activities (and one per day) at the weekend. This will help keep your brain and body from being on overdrive.
Learn to say no and feel good about it.
I am very serious about that.
Read MoreLong Term (or ongoing) Stress is the most difficult for us to have as it affects our bodies and minds (& spirits) more.
I have a few clients with long term stress and they are suffering.
Here are some symptoms:
· You are always tired and rather forgetful
· You are irritable and maybe self-medicate to stay afloat
· You have physical symptoms such as headaches, body aches, stiff muscles (especially in the neck, shoulders and jaw), stomach and other digestive problems, and sexual dysfunction
Read MoreSo, what is there to do when under stress:
· Manage Stress like it’s like diabetes (Type 2)- eat and exercise in a healthy manner.
· Get enough rest and relaxation and have good sleep hygiene.
· Talk about it and enjoy your relationships with friends and family.
· See stress in a positive way (reframe it).
· Pause before acting and reflect!
Read MoreThat in-between time
It’s hard
Liminal Space is what it is often called
“The word "liminal" comes from the Latin word “limen,” which means threshold. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. You can be in a liminal space physically, emotionally, or metaphorically. Being in a liminal space can be incredibly uncomfortable for most people.“ – Verywellmind
There are physical liminal spaces: waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, airport terminals, airplanes in flight, hallways, bridges, in the car driving somewhere, and doorways…
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