Stories are important and your stories are very important. I enjoy hearing stories, and maybe you would like to share yours with me.

Part of what I do is listen to your stories and help you make sense of them, for your work, and for your life. I love to listen to and help people with their stories. Behind those stories are dreams, and broken dreams; there are things that cause us to move forward and the stories that hold us back. Making sense of our stories helps us to move forward and develop.

Celebrate your wins and the wins of your clients!

This week has been full of reasons to celebrate and so, for once I will brag. Besides positive client acquisition, I passed my Mentoring Supervisor (in German it is “Lehrsupervisor”) certification exam, so now I am a certified coach, supervisor and mentoring supervisor (and spiritual director and supervisor for spiritual direction).  I feel grateful and “full”. It is enough for me and I am very satisfied.

AND a client of mine just gave her second (or third, maybe) presentation and this time it was not to do with her job but was something new in a “masterclass” setting. IT went very well and we are both celebrating. Now she is a SPEAKER, too! It is a wonderful skill and can give joy when you can talk about things that light your own fire.

Are you triggered?

Have you been triggered recently?

What can you do?

Pause. Do not react, do not act back “in kind”.

What did you do?

So… then… do something right away to sooth yourself. AND, if you can, remove yourself from the situation.

There is a time for showing emotions -- and all emotions are okay to show because all emotions are okay.  Our emotions are a part of us. Last weekend was a big day of  taking pause, remembering, being angry, and perhaps, depending on your circumstances, protesting.  Friends and family of mine took part in the No Kings protests, and I thought of them and prayed for them from afar. For me it was a day of hope and anger and prayer.

One of the reactions to “YesterDay” could be anger and frustration because you feel hopeless or that justice has not been served. Another reaction could be fear: fear of friends, family (or yourself) getting arrested. Even tears could be a response: tears of hope and joy over the turnout or tears of remembrance for what once was, a kinder and gentler era. For me, I am frustrated, hopeful and sad all at once. I have shed a lot of tears of late.

So, what are we to do with stress, then, personally? 

First and foremost, think of stress as a means of achieving your goal(s) and not as an enemy or what keeps you from success (see last week’s blog) and

second, become more aware, more mindful of yourself, of your situation, and of what your body is doing. 

Good communication is necessary for success.

In work and life. Part of communication has to do with who we are (integrity) and what we communicate is who we are (authenticity).

This is what I suggest to you for success, and for good communication.

So, what makes good communication? 

It’s complicated to communicate, but it IS do-able.

Last time I wrote about TRUST and now I am doing a follow up.

It is interesting because three people I know have recently brought up the subject.

What is needed for Trust?

Authenticity                      Integrity               Authority            Empathy

When looking for someone to trust, Donald Miller says we are looking for people to have empathy and authority.  You want to “be like Oprah” and have competency like Steve Jobs - or whoever is considered competent skills in your field.

Trust is something that is needed in business and personal relationships.

Who can you trust?

I don’t know about you, but I have been burned a few times in business and otherwise and now do some vetting before I trust someone or anew partner in business, and even when they have won my trust, it’s still never a “blind” trust, anymore.  I keep my eyes wide open.  I am still learning how to be less gullible, how about you?

It’s almost Lent (which means Spring, actually) and maybe you feel great about how your year is shaping up. Maybe your goals have been set and you have reached a first milestone(s). Maybe you have planned your holidays for the year, shopped the sales for your necessities and are sitting ready for a great Lenten season of listening and reflecting.

Or maybe not.

Maybe you struggle to get the things that are highest priority on the list done and never have time for the more important things (like planning time to rest and reflect, let alone resting and reflecting).

I have been focusing on resilience for the last few weeks for obvious reasons, I think.  I hope you are benefitting from it!  Part of resilience is having the right assumptions and thoughts about <our (the) situation.

So, first challenge your beliefs about what is true- make sure your thoughts are real(istic)

Here 3 questions to re-evaluating your thoughts and assumptions–  some alternatives that help for a more accurate way to see life, and that lead to a resilient life try asking yourself about the incident or situation:

Resilience is mostly under our control and enables us to thrive in adversity, making us able to make good (quick) decisions in instances of difficulty.  It turns victims into survivors (“thrivers”) with a variety of skills.

What are components of resilience?

I has been a difficult month, but…

We CAN make it through the tough times- together!

Do you need some help to survive and possibly thrive in the next few lockdown weeks?  Has the news or worse, your personal experiences that I only see on the news, got you stuck? Stressed?

Overwhelmed? News reading or watching stressed out?  We can do this together and here are some things that can help:

Realistic expectations, Self-care, Self-regulation, Community, and Self-motivation are key for survival.

It is Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Time for reflection.

Reflection on Dr. King and what I can do today to make a better world.

Reflect on his dream. How is that dream doing?

I am from Minnesota and recently, even though I have been living in Switzerland for over thirty years, Minnesota has been in my Heart and on my Mind.

Maybe it is on your mind, too. Are the people affected in your heart like mine, too?

Are your decisions fear-based? Based on fear of loss?

Fear like anger and sadness are normal parts of our humanity, so it is not at all wrong to feel any of them.

Fear can be good, as a motivator (i.e.:  the company will have to cut back if we don’t sell x amount of goods) but it can stop change.  When fear is a healthy motivation to get things done asap, that’s great. 

When fear stops you because you feel it threatens you (eg: “There will be violence” “There will be chaos”), it’s not good – and maybe not at all true or only partially true.

We need to sing more. I received a little bookmark to remember to “just read”, well, I am here to tell you to “just sing”.

Singing is  prayer for some of us. St. Augustine's famous quote on singing, often paraphrased as "To sing is to pray twice" or "He who sings, prays twice."

Singing uses all of us, not just our minds but our body, heart, soul and mind. It is wholistic and healthy. It is art, too, and anyone can sing. Claude Monet said, “I would like to paint the way a bird sings.” I interpret this to be at least partially that a bird sings because it is made to sing. We have lungs and vocal cords and so we are also made to sing.

Singing is good for you. It can reduce stress and enhance your cardiovascular system.

A year ago, I helped an elderly couple with their two teenage grandchildren. Today, I saw a kind Swiss woman assisting another refugee with her tram ticket.  Whether a visitor or an immigrant or… people are all just that, people.Refugees are human beings—people with rights, needs, fears, and tremendous bravery.  This I believe with all my heart. Some have said that Jesus Christ with his family were refugees in Egypt once, too. #IStandWithRefugees 

Also, for those who care for others first, remember to be kind to yourself in this season of giving.

What do you want?

Are you overwhelmed, especially with this question? Then, read on:

Are you overwhelmed, in general, then here is a tool for you. 

What is your H.I.T. list and what are your most important thing(s) you need to get done – today and this week and – before the holidays?

Back to Work – part 3 of 3, a bit late, but workth it!

TAKE ACTION! - A Walk and a PLAN

I had a walk and made a plan for this fall.  And I stuck to it, and then did not blog for a while.

What can I do in light of my new challenge as a full-time coach and supervisor?  This fall I will be doing most of these actions listed below.  Will you join me in some ACTION – what is your PLAN? How will you grow and invest in your community? Here are a few ideas (from my big “to do” list):

Being consciously grateful is one of the main ways to be happier, research says.  On our side of the equator, as the days darken, let us be grateful and we may find ourselves happier! Happier for you and me then means making better choices (also proven from research), which leads to success.  Therefore, let’s be grateful!

Networking IS very important, especially in Switzerland!!!

Everyone I know seems to get a little worried when they enter a room full of strangers, so do know there is someone feeling just like you somewhere in the room. But good networking is key for (business) success.  So, here are some tips:

Fear? It’s normal!

We all have fears, and fear is normal. We are made to have fear so we run away from imminent danger. 

But sometimes our fear goes “sideways” and comes out in the “wrong place. 

Sometimes we are afraid of the wrong things.

Sometimes fear overwhelms and gets us in a stuck place.

Let’s look at some of our wrong responses to fear and now start with my success story about fear that happened this month.