What do you want?

What do you want?

Are you overwhelmed, especially with this question? Then, read on:

Do what you CAN

Are you overwhelmed, in general, then here is a tool for you. 

What is your H.I.T. list and what are your most important thing(s) you need to get done – today and this week and – before the holidays?

Some time ago I got together with coaching and supervision colleagues and I was reminded of one of my favorite (negotiation and decision) intervention tools:  The H.I.T. list, where you have three questions:

·      What is your Have-to-have?

·      What do your Intend (or would like) to have? And

·      What can (or must) you Trade ( or give up) to gain your Have-to-have and possibly your Intend to haves?

It could be that your intend to haves have to wait right now, because you do not have ANY time to get them done.

When you think about these questions, then you can decide what is not on these lists, and discard - or delegate, if possible.

But remember everyone else is very busy, too at this time of year.

Let’s look at a few examples:

When deciding about something nice (a holiday, for example)

H: What do you have to have for it to be a “good” vacation for you? 

For me, it would need a comfortable setting with good restaurant(s) nearby, a place to go walking from the place… a kitchenette, if possible… and nice weather.

I: What would you like to have? 

For me, “dogs allowed”, good ice cream in the near vicinity, good public transport, possibly museums nearby, and a cute city nearby, or even the place is in a cute city or village.

T: What will I give to get what I want?  

Money, research time, travel time, no time to have clients (more money)….

Let’s now look at a more difficult example -

When thinking about staying at a difficult job

H: What do I need to stay in this difficult job?

Maybe it’s enough pay (the German speakers call that “Schmertz Geld”

- or it’s only for a specified length of time (eg: in two years I can leave and can say that I tried my best)

- or maybe there is at least two colleagues you can enjoy time with

or…

this must be a very personal decision, so you fill in the blanks.

I: What would I like to have?

This might be some benefit that is not a deal-breaker but that is something  helps to keep you “healthy and happy”, maybe there is a gym facility or that subsidized childcare is in the facility (this could be a have to have, too).  Maybe there are free massages at your workplace. Maybe you have a nice physical working environment.

T: What must I give up to gain what is on my H-list at least? 

Maybe that means you are “on call” much of the time (business phone goes on holiday with you), or that your work-life balance suffers more than you like, or you have a boss that is difficult for you in one way or the other, or you feel like you are missing out on raising your kids. 

What are you going to give to keep what you want or need for the moment?

Again, this is very personal, and maybe you need a conversation or two about this. 

The biggest question with this situation for me is a question of energy and time:

How long can I live this way and stay healthy and how much energy am I willing to sacrifice before the deal-breaker(s) are broken?

So, I hope you can try this H.I.T. list out and tell me how it goes for your next decisions.

Otherwise, we might have to dig even deeper about what you want, and I do not mean what gift you want for Christmas or Hannukah or… 

Wishing you a successful week and rest of your Advent season,

Patricia Jehle                           patricia@jehle-coaching.com