You can’t slow down, maybe.
You are always working.
When are you moving towards burnout and how can you get help?
Set work boundaries but try to find (more) meaning at work, especially the hours and days. Take days off. Take holidays.
Meet with friends and family (that give you energy).
Read MoreOne of the big parts of stress is something that you can control: how resilient are you?
Start with your relationships, for one!
Research has shown that mutually supportive relationships are key to stress reduction and resilience.
What does a good relationship look like? How do I develop and grow in my relationships?
Read Morehow do I know what I can change in a stressful situation - what I have to deal with - and live through?
Let’s begin with some things you can do, even when the stress is not ongoing.
First, when you see that the programme is too full or is getting too full for your liking, try to, if you possibly can, put in time buffers. Do it ahead of time. Say you see that the next few weeks are full of ”heavy duty” activity, then do not plan something in the evenings, if possible – even if it is a fun activity and plan only fun activities (and one per day) at the weekend. This will help keep your brain and body from being on overdrive.
Learn to say no and feel good about it.
I am very serious about that.
Read MoreLong Term (or ongoing) Stress is the most difficult for us to have as it affects our bodies and minds (& spirits) more.
I have a few clients with long term stress and they are suffering.
Here are some symptoms:
· You are always tired and rather forgetful
· You are irritable and maybe self-medicate to stay afloat
· You have physical symptoms such as headaches, body aches, stiff muscles (especially in the neck, shoulders and jaw), stomach and other digestive problems, and sexual dysfunction
Read MoreSo, what is there to do when under stress:
· Manage Stress like it’s like diabetes (Type 2)- eat and exercise in a healthy manner.
· Get enough rest and relaxation and have good sleep hygiene.
· Talk about it and enjoy your relationships with friends and family.
· See stress in a positive way (reframe it).
· Pause before acting and reflect!
Read MoreThat in-between time
It’s hard
Liminal Space is what it is often called
“The word "liminal" comes from the Latin word “limen,” which means threshold. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. You can be in a liminal space physically, emotionally, or metaphorically. Being in a liminal space can be incredibly uncomfortable for most people.“ – Verywellmind
There are physical liminal spaces: waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, airport terminals, airplanes in flight, hallways, bridges, in the car driving somewhere, and doorways…
Read MoreThere are many ways to prevent burnout and to increase resilience. Increasing resilience.
Usually it starts with a wee “no”.
Maybe you even still must “do it”, but hopefully your boss or co-worker has finally heard that you actually do not want to do something. Maybe they will think a second time before just assuming you will do that thing.
Read MoreChecking off that to-do list fast enough?
I am chugging through my list, but must remember the BIGGER things, too.
Like making time for work (and personal) reflection.
Like preparing for a talk on connection, communication (and, of course, conflict)
Like writing (and reading)
Like preparing next year’s school lectures
How do you plan on getting things done?
Do you make time for reflection – at the end of the day, at the end/beginning of the week, at the end of the month and year?
But in the end, keeping one word in my “view” at all times, really helps me get things done - maybe it will help you, too!
Read MoreDo you want to change someone’s mind?
I am thinking about just that…
What do they want is important
BUT why they want it is more important.
Not only do you need to know your own whys, but finding out their whys is very likely a key to success
Read More…“tough-minded optimism” – is a blend of creativity in ideas, strong convictions about what works and about doing things for the “common good”, and resilience, especially when it comes to the need for change. To quote, “The future is not shaped by people who don’t really believe in the future,”…
Read MoreIt is what it is … or is it?
What can we control?
What can we influence?
What is out of our control?
What we can control (usually) is my response to what I can influence and what I cannot control.
Read MoreWhat are you reading?
Two books I read for my upcoming talk on Stronger Network THIS WEEK: (https://www.strongernetwork.com/strongerconference ) are Lost and Founder by Rand Fishkin and Rework by Freid and Hansson.
I am reading a few books on connection and human relationships for a talk later on in 2023, too: Belonging by Geoffrey Cohen, Connections (again) by Larry Crabb, and The Love Prescription by John and Julie Gottman. There may be other books I read, if I have time.
In 2022 I read The Extended Mind by Annie Paul and I am still reading Radical Leadership by Sprenger (with a client)
Read MoreWe have talked about the seven deadly sins, and their “opposites”, the seven virtues and now I want to tie in EQ – Emotional Intelligence.
But what is Emotional Intelligence? It is composed of four areas:
1. Self-awareness (know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses- this could be the virtue of humility)
2. Self-management (this would include the virtues of diligence, temperance, and chastity)
3. Social awareness (this would include the virtues of charity/good works and kindness)
4. Relationship management (this would be the virtue of patience but also include the virtues of charity/good works and kindness)
Read MoreRecently I was at a birthday party and the topic of gluttony came up. Surprise! The food was plenteous and delicious
Then we went on to discuss the “seven deadly sins”, mostly focusing on the real big one: pride and that got me thinking about the sins and their opposites, the virtues – and Wikipedia* (below) gave me a wonderful table not only with the sins, but their opposites… these opposites, the virtues, look very much like what Daniel Goleman calls EQ, or Emotional Intelligence.
Let’s look at the sins first in this blog, and then the opposites in the next, and finally tie them to EQ in the final blog in this series; EQ has come up in a recent hiring round I am part of, btw., as it is one of the asked for characteristics of most new hires.
Sins: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, envy, wrath, and pride.
Read MoreSelf-efficacy is a key part of resilience.
So, what’s your S-E Quotient? Your SE-Q?
Here’s some theory for the nosy part of us all:
Do you know what your Self-Efficacy Quotient is?Well, you should care about it and know generally at what level it is.
Read MoreHow are you moving forward this and next week?
This is, most likely, your last push before the holiday crush and then it’s the holiday break.
So, how do you decide what is most important, next important, etc.
Do you know which activities bring you the most clients/customers, or financial turnover? Do those activities.
The rest of your to-dos can fall away till January.
Make sure your WHY is in the decision-making process, too.
Read MoreMaybe you have all your ducks in a row, but something seems to be stopping you from moving forward? Is there something intangible slowing down your business?
Maybe you have inner conflicts with yourself that need addressing so you can start moving forward again.
A while ago week I read a wonderful book by negotiation expert Professor Dr. William Ury of Harvard Business School called Getting to Yes with Yourself and I found some treasures to help us out of those stuck places in business and in life.
Here’s Ury’s 6-Step Model…
Read MoreShiny objects and Rabbit holes – “fun” distractions that keep you from the Main Thing
Sometimes in a workday, especially for those who have the double-sided coin of flexible choices of what to do when, we are easily distracted by things that draw us from our “One Thing” or “Best thing”.
A person wrote me today and said that his answer to the question ofwhat is an Entrepreneur's "Achille's Heel"“I think it's loosing focus and spending too much time on things which are not relevant for customers. “
Read MoreLet’s consider success:
What do you want, really?
Will it be the same in five years? In ten? Fifteen? Twenty years?
How do those answers to the first question help you to make your decision about your next steps?
What will you value when you are 45? 50? 55? 60? …?
But back to the question: what do you really want?
Do you need or want to start something new?
There are some steps involved in the process, even before something new becomes “a THING”.
To be successful, here are some points to think about.
· Make mistakes and learn
· Do something new and learn
· Own what you do
· It’s all about your development as a human being
· Keep on being your responsible authentic self
· Remember it’s all about community and adding value to the “world”
Read MoreFailure- it’s good, not bad – and failure at work is not likely to demotivate
Have you made some (work) mistakes, well, good!
You’re human. So am I! That’s wonderful, btw! We humans make mistakes and fail sometimes.
It is not the mistake or the failure that is the problem.
The problem is not learning from them, or even sometimes, not being willing to make any mistakes, to be outside of your comfort zone. Then you don’t move- and certainly don’t change.
Learning how to avoid failures from previous ones is one way to get ahead. Below you will find a list of 10 causes of failure focusing on leaders, which is taken from Napoleon Hill and some ideas for 2022-23 – it’s a bit edited for a more modern way of thinking.
Read More
