Maybe you have all your ducks in a row, but something seems to be stopping you from moving forward? Is there something intangible slowing down your business?

Maybe you have inner conflicts with yourself that need addressing so you can start moving forward again.

A while ago week I read a wonderful book by negotiation expert Professor Dr. William Ury of Harvard Business School called Getting to Yes with Yourself and I found some treasures to help us out of those stuck places in business and in life.

Here’s Ury’s 6-Step Model…

Shiny objects and Rabbit holes – “fun” distractions that keep you from the Main Thing

Sometimes in a workday, especially for those who have the double-sided coin of flexible choices of what to do when, we are easily distracted by things that draw us from our “One Thing” or “Best thing”.

A person wrote me today and said that his answer to the question ofwhat is an Entrepreneur's "Achille's Heel"“I think it's loosing focus and spending too much time on things which are not relevant for customers. “

Let’s consider success:

What do you want, really?

Will it be the same in five years? In ten? Fifteen? Twenty years?

How do those answers to the first question help you to make your decision about your next steps?

What will you value when you are 45? 50? 55? 60? …?

But back to the question: what do you really want?

Do you need or want to start something new?

There are some steps involved in the process, even before something new becomes “a THING”.

To be successful, here are some points to think about.

· Make mistakes and learn

· Do something new and learn

· Own what you do

· It’s all about your development as a human being

· Keep on being your responsible authentic self

· Remember it’s all about community and adding value to the “world”

Failure- it’s good, not bad – and failure at work is not likely to demotivate

Have you made some (work) mistakes, well, good!

You’re human. So am I! That’s wonderful, btw! We humans make mistakes and fail sometimes.

It is not the mistake or the failure that is the problem.

The problem is not learning from them, or even sometimes, not being willing to make any mistakes, to be outside of your comfort zone. Then you don’t move- and certainly don’t change.

Learning how to avoid failures from previous ones is one way to get ahead. Below you will find a list of 10 causes of failure focusing on leaders, which is taken from Napoleon Hill and some ideas for 2022-23 – it’s a bit edited for a more modern way of thinking.

I am Looking Forward and Dealing with Today – being grateful in everything.

I hope you remember the PPFs model. Past-Present-Future.

Remember and be grateful for the past, even the hard times.

Savor the present – the good and the hard parts.

Look forward to the future with hope and anticipation.

The Art of knowing when to keep on going and when to quit.

OR maybe you pivot (more next time).

Business is a lot like gambling, and oh-so-long-ago a famous country western singer, Kenny Rogers, wrote a song called “The Gambler”- I have known it since my childhood. One of the phrases is “You’ve got to know when to hold them (cards)… know when to fold them.” When to keep playing the hand you’ve been dealt and when to quit.

When do you continue on your chosen path and when do you change and do something new? That’s the question.

What you do and say is important – for life, for your company, and work

It’s amazing how important it is to be what you (and your company, your company’s product, and its ramifications in life) present yourself as.

As a client of mine says, “It you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you have said. It makes life much easier.” She is so spot-on! I’ve been quoting her ever since she said this in a group supervision I was leading. I used the quote this past weekend with a friend who wants to encourage her son to be transparent at work.

I thought about it when a friend shared some of the struggles, she had been having with her (not truthful) spouse and how most everything comes down to being who you say you are. The inside and the outside match- no hiding.

I thought about it when sharing my own struggles with a few friends regarding the upcoming months and what is “on my plate” for work and life, and other things that cause me to pause and take note.

Be honest, I told myself, and I did. It’s about our integrity, one of the points on Goleman’s EQ list.

Integrity

If you are a person of integrity you are like this…

Are you too focused on the past?

Do you focus on the future too much?

Where is your energy spent?

Are you able to savor and be grateful for the present situation?

When the future can overshadow the present, positive or negative, you are missing out.

When the past does the same you are missing out.

Savor the present, too! Be grateful.

The past few blogs have been all about change. This week is the “can do” week. Next week is “off” because I am again, on holiday. Then it’s back in the saddle for me.

What can you do? (Step 2)

Add that to what you want and what you need - and you have a great start!

What do you want, really?

Last weekend I wrote about new endeavors.

Do you need or want to start something new? There are some steps involved in the process, even before it becomes “a THING”. To be successful, I suggested some ideas.

The first and most difficult part is to ask yourself this: What do you want?

The second question is what do you need?

These are two different questions and, depending on the circumstances, what you need will help determine what you want.

Do you need or want to start something new? There are some steps involved in the process, even before it becomes “a THING”. To be successful, I suggest the following steps and ideas.

We all need to keep “fresh” and grow.

But not every attempt at a change is successful. Some are, of course, failures.

Failure is the next step towards success. Those “blips” I consider “learning events” when we take the time to reflect and learn from the situation.

You can change, too.

Life is well, rather… stuck?

Business not going well? Or something else?

You have all your ducks in a row, but something seems to be stopping you? Is something intangible slowing down your business? Maybe you have inner conflicts with yourself that need addressing so you can start moving forward again.

A while ago week I read a wonderful book by negotiation expert Professor Dr. William Ury of Harvard Business School called Getting to Yes with Yourself and I found some treasures to help us out of those stuck places in business and in life.

When you are triaging- remember to plan for the two most important things:

THE MOST IMPORTANT things that are not urgent

AND

BREAKS

What about you?

What are the MOST IMPORTANT things that are not urgent for you?

Maybe it is about finishing a book you need to read for work or study.

How do you plan for you MOST IMPORTANT items on your list? Do you block out certain times in the day/week/month that are sacred for these projects?

What about breaks – whether half-days, days, a mini-vacation, or a real one, they should also be scheduled and sacred.

Where can you go and what do you do to find rest and restoration?

In a crisis we can acknowledge the fear (which is NORMAL), lean in, decide what you can control, make a plan and be as ready as you can be

Some call it Pivot, others call it reinvention.

It’s always a (big) change.

It could be that a change of career or changing your business is needed.

Re-inventing Yourself - a necessity for many, especially for those over 50, but it’s vital for others, too, such as stay-at-home parents who are re-entering the job market and for those who discover that what they have trained for/studied for is no longer a need.

What makes a good leader?

Here is SOME of what it takes is what it takes in general to be successful.

· Learning head and heart and soul

· Engagement

· Visionary and Influencer

· Aspects of different kinds of leadership used at different points with different situations and people

A good leader is open and ready to learn, for oneself and as a model

A while ago I gave a talk in a small business on learning and what the MD said before I started was key: “I have had coaches and supervisors to grow and learn; you should consider the opportunity for yourselves.” She even said there were funds budgeted in the employees’ further education budgets for such activities. What a model!

A successful leader values and encourages employee engagement

In Switzerland, the average percentage of engaged employees is less than 15%, according to Gallup. This is extremely low, but in line with the DACH region.

Leadership is Usually seen as visionary and influencing in a positive way

Not only is engagement important, but how the leader shares the vision, and encourages the employees is very key. It can be a deal maker – or breaker – as to whether an engaged employee stays or goes.

A successful leader knows how to use various roles to bring about success

Robert E Quinn has a “Competing Values Framework” that can be helpful for measuring your leadership skills for the roles needed: team builder/facilitator, mentor, innovator/pioneer, broker/networker, director (of strategy), producer, controller and coordinator. All of these roles have skills to develop and use as a leader, and when necessary, to develop and encourage in the upcoming leadership under you.

Resilience is a lot about those soft skills, or “EQ” and a lot about what makes us healthy and happy:

· It’s being honest and open about your feelings; it’s vulnerability.

· It’s being curious where those (especially what we think of as negative) thoughts and feelings come from and letting yourself go with them for the moment.

· It’s being compassionate with yourself (and with others) when you (they) fail.

· It’s finding and acknowledging those false assumptions and putting a correct one in its place; - this is key, and not easy!

· It’s learning from the mistake and putting new practices in place.

· It’s not only about healthy mindsets, but also about healthy lifestyles and relationships.

When it comes to our thoughts and emotions and that struggle to see what’s really happening, then its really about what’s going on inside of us.

Brené Brown calls this the rumble.

Liminal Spaces

There are physical liminal spaces: waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, airport terminals, airplanes in flight, hallways, bridges, in the car driving somewhere, and doorways…

There are also emotional liminal spaces: graduation, illnesses, deaths of loved ones, job searches, divorce and separation, moving, waiting for that phone call,

COVID19…

and the Ukraine Crisis…

Though in-between times can be very difficult, there is something positive about this liminal space because we learn a lot about ourselves and our (negative and positive) patterns of coping in stressful situations.

Alone, and yet not alone. Connected --or not? A Controlled Distance?

Are you feeling lonely? Maybe you need to get out of your virtual world and DO something with HUMANS again – face to face.

Or is your life more like this:

“I share, therefore I am”

In the midst of the “connected virtual world”, I am thinking about our relationships - and businesses, and how social media and gaming affects us.