What I have Learned in COVID-19 Lockdown- and with #BLM

Lockdown is officially over for us here

The government has given the OK for its citizens and residents in Switzerland to meet (up to 1,000 people at a 1.5m distance, but with masks, when it is crowded, please).  We can go out to movies, concerts, sporting events, restaurants…  We can relax a bit as long as we wash our hands and do the right thing.  Since March I have been thinking, and learning.

Lessons Learned from Lockdown COVID and #BLM:

1.     Less is really more

2.     People need structure and regularity

3.     Chaos can be tamed

4.     Truth will win out (and tell) – in due time

5.     Social distancing is hard, even for introverts

6.     Hobbies can be learned and put on a shelf

7.     There are cheaper things that work just as effectively as therapy

8.     Lockdown means a build-up of pressure

9.     You cannot put a lid on a boiling pot

10.   Loving your neighbor is hard, and requires reflection and self-watching

Less is more:  I do not need as much new stuff as I am offered every day and I do not need to go out as much as I am used to.  This will bring changes in the economy, if everyone has learned this.  

People will not notice that I have worn that particular piece of clothing before nor will they notice if I order a small sized portion at a restaurant- they may notice if I order a supersized one, though.  Also, people are exchanging their clothes with friends or at clothing swaps much more- now that lockdown is unlocked here in Switzerland.

We all need structure:  Normally work put a structure on our days, but since many of us worked differently during lockdown, we had to make our own routines. 

During lockdown we created new healthier rhythms; they were daily activities done to keep a good schedule: get up early, do your morning routine(s), eat together and start work.  Cook lunch and eat and do dishes. Walk the dog. Work till about five or six and cook again and eat and do dishes again.  Evenings were free to choose- read a book or garden (as the weather was awesome, that was my husband’s favorite choice: gardening), or do whatever. 

Now we can think whether or not we can incorporate some of this healthy-rhythmic life into our unlocked lives.  We can reflect on what we want to keep from lockdown and what we have learned.

Chaos is only disorder waiting for someone to order it.  We all felt very chaotic at the beginning of lockdown and there was a lot of uncertainty which made the chaos worse.  The Swiss government took a rather interesting way of dealing with the chaos by  giving regulations and information, first on an almost daily basis, then on a bi-weekly basis.  We never went on a total lockdown in Switzerland, but we were really encouraged to stay home and only to go out once or twice a day for walks and to go shopping a few times a week.  

Most of us complied and the chaos turned to order quite quickly.  

The same idea could be seen for most people on a micro-level.  We first did not know how to run our lives and what we should do since we had to give order to everything, but quickly our daily rhythms set in and life was again ordered.  We had a lot of peace of mind.

Truth (usually) wins, in time. There was a lot of misinformation running around about the virus and about what was happening in the country and in the world.  Even Swiss people were posting conspiracy theories on social media.  But as the truth came out, there were fewer and fewer “wacky” ideas going around, but some people did drink hand sanitizer, and some people will always be afraid of immunizations.  Luckily for the Swiss population, there is a lot of trust in the scientists and the people running the country.  This helps a lot in such a crisis. Of course, the people who are real experts are not egotistical narcissists as are some other people running other countries, which I choose not to name.

Social distancing got really difficult towards the end of the lockdown, even for my rather introverted family.  Also, we all began to hate online meetings and since we are Christian, online worship.  

We were zoomed out.  

I personally started staying home as of March 14th and I am just getting back into the swing of seeing people, and most of them have come here to visit me and my family, so far.  Part of this has to do with the fact that I am (still) recovering from a hip replacement operation on May 27th, and I am not able to drive and I have not yet taken the train since March 14th.  I have taken out local bus into Baden (the next closest city, about 4km away).  

Last week we had guests (like more than one or two) for the first time in what felt like ages.  It was lovely- a socially distanced bbq in our garden.  AWESOME.  The whole family (and hopefully the guests) were very happy to have had the time together.

Hobbies are helpful. My husband and I both started new hobbies during the lockdown.  He is tying a net to cover out pond and protect it from our cats and ducklings.  I am becoming the local sourdough queen.  I even made cornbread (+++), English muffins (+), and a low-sugar chocolate-chocolate cake  (+++) this past week with it.  Then, I usually make two loves of sourdough bread- whole wheat and rye mixed together, the flour comes from a work colleague’s local mill.  

My one son got ducklings and the other has his start-up, so we were all busy enough during the lockdown (not to mention the garden is always a place to work, more about this next).

Therapy can be expensive and there are other cheaper things that work, as well.  I took the Yale Happiness Course.  Much of the information was not new, to me but it was fun to have so much research-based information handed to me at one go.  

Gardening, walking, exercising, eating well and getting enough sleep are more effective than psycho-pharma and about as equally effective as therapy.  That’s what the main gist of the course was.  So, if you have no garden, you can come and work in mine (no charge), or take daily walks, or go swimming, or ride a stationary bike.  All of that is good for you.  So is having a pet (dog walking, anyone?).  

Then eating regular healthy meals is also very good and very helpful for your mental well-being. We had scheduled lunch and dinner together in our little pod of people – and I think the breaks and the food was good for all.  

Going to bed tired and getting up after a good night’s sleep all refreshed is a blessing, and one that we could experience almost every day.  It was great to be so refreshed and relaxed.  

This is something I am trying to keep after lockdown, and for the rest of my life, as I can pretty much control this aspect of my life.

The pressure builds up after a while when you can’t get out.  Call it cabin fever, or lockdown jitters, or whatever, but that pressure grows, and with a growth in pressure comes not-so-nice human responses; maybe you have seen them on social media.  

Adults having meltdowns over having to wear face masks, and much much worse.  The pressure is building and people sometimes have not outlet (maybe they are not taking daily walks, or the walks are not helping enough)…

When you put the lid on the pot it explodes and boils over.  The pressure is there and just trying to “keep a lid on it” does not work, and thus the perfect storm was created with covid-19 and all the cops having too much power (and no accountability) and the world is totally watching them do the (for many of us) unimaginable over and over again.  I was in the hospital when the lid blew and life has not been the same since. It’s like we are watching every incident, almost live- online.  

What do people who are in charge of this crap expect? 

Certainly, everyone must know that the whole #BLM situation is totally outrageous.  It’s awful.  And perhaps we needed this tragic catalyst to make some real changes in the #BLM movement - and in our way of seeing truth and who gets to say what is okay.  

It is an issue of power, and who gets to have the power, after all. 

What I really hope is that the change momentum keeps going past the next 2020 US Presidential election, and that people not only vote (preferably all of them, preferably by any way they choose- mail or in person), but that some real dialogue begins a conversation that is over 400 years overdue.

It takes a lot of work to love your neighbor and that is going to be hard work. This is my last point, and I really think it all boils down to love, no pun intended (well, maybe a little intention).  

I have had several conversations recently where  people have been “distancing” themselves from the situation (it’s not me, it’s them) - and “othering” other people.  “Those Americans”.  “Those whites” “Those lazy so-and-sos”.  

It’s easy to “love “someone when we are feeling like they need our help - but what about if we need other people’s help to see the reality of our own racist, mysogynist, sexist, and other x-ist thoughts and behaviors? We have the hardest time thinking about our own motives and bias, myself included. 

It’s very easy to point fingers (and distance ourselves) rather than reflect on ourselves and our own bias, which we all have.  I come back to this truth again and again: if we want to grow we have to self-reflect.

Will you join me in the self-reflection journey?  It’s long and arduous, but I truly believe that there is a pot of gold at the end of this journey.

Have a great week!  I wish you well, if you are in Europe and you are able to get out once again!

Patricia Jehle   patricia@jehle-coaching.com