Triggers are key to Personal Growth
Triggers are emotion AND thought-oriented. Dealing well with them helps you grow and develop.
What triggers you? Maybe it’s another announcement that the world (ok, maybe not the whole world, catastrophizing is a thought-triggered response) – or the country is still going to be on lockdown for another month. It’s been a year, now and we are all tired. Triggers are individual (and collective, sometimes) and they affect both our thoughts and emotions. It’s best to notice them.
What can you do when you are triggered: notice, discover the trigger and plan.
When you go into a spiral, whether emotional, over-thinking, or both emotions and thoughts are affected, the first step is the AH-HA: I’ve been triggered.
Noticing and reflecting might take a while (or a life-time) to perfect, but noticing is the key.
Then, discover what the trigger is/was and NAME IT. It’s best to write it down, or draw it.
Finally, once you understand the pattern, you can make a plan to break it.
One of the things that you can do is prepare in advance and make a plan, so the trigger is less. If, for example, you have a big meeting coming up, you work through potentially triggering scenarios and have “an answer” prepared. Sometimes it’s best to do this with a coach or supervisor (just saying).
This reflection and preparation doesn’t ever prevent all triggers from happening, but it does help and it helps you develop a different kind of resilience.
By the way, this kind of response helps you develop a “growth mindset”, which is what most employers are looking for these days, and if you have this, you can keep and (hopefully) more easily find a good job. That’s something I also help people (especially the 50+ crowd) do- develop a growth mindset and get a job.
Of course, receiving feedback and learning is part of a growth mindset, too.(I wrote about that in last week’s blog)
What are some things you can notice to call attention to your personal triggers? Emotionally, do you “just respond” very intensely to something (words or situations) without reflecting? Or are you falling into thought traps (“I can’t stand this”, “I am a failure”, “I am worthless”, “I can’t fail or…”, “I am a failure”, etc…)? When you think through those thoughts and emotions regarding what has happened (lots of good questions are necessary, here) and most importantly, what’s at stake? The issue that is at stake is being “endangered”, most likely, and thus the trigger. Reflection is very key for this, and again, may need a humble helper.
I hope you have a healthy, trigger-less, growth-oriented week.
Patricia Jehle patricia@jehle-coaching.com
